About two years ago I was in a cohort of worship leaders. And, one of the things they taught us was to sit in silence, all alone, and just be in the presence of Jesus.
No agenda. No music playing. No passages of scripture to read.
No distractions.
And I very quickly discovered that silence made me *very* uncomfortable. No agenda made me *very* uncomfortable.
My default was noise, action, and distraction. And here I was almost unable to tolerate the still and the quiet. Incapable of holding space.
And then I realized how little time I spent beholding Jesus... just to behold him.
Entrepreneurs are a specific kind of people.
We're self-starters. We're go-getters.
We're halfway down the road before we even know where we're going!
And, we live in a culture that tells us to hustle and grind. Burn the midnight oil. Make that money so we can escape to a beautiful vacation. But only for a week... then we need to get back to the grind for another 12 months before our next break.
As much as we talk about "me time" and "mental health days" and "four day weeks" it doesn't stop us from filling up all the space on our calendar.
For those of us who have healthy boundaries around our desk time, the other hours of the day will be dedicated to our kids' activities, our church responsibilities, our hobbies, and our phones.
Just put a whole line item on your calendar for "time wasted on phone" and you're good to go.
And frankly, a lot of us entrepreneurs love the busyness. We don't say that. That would be crazy.
But when we stop for any amount of time, we realize just how uncomfortable we are with rest and space and quiet.
We would never say out loud (or even in our heads) that being dog-tired and keeping a full calendar is what we want with our lives.
But... we go right on doing it. What's the standard answer when literally *anyone* asks "how are you doing?!"
"I'm good! Busy."
And honestly, it's not because we have to be. Yes, for many of us the mortgage payment is relying on a new contract closing or a new product launching. So it's an easy excuse about why we have to work so many hours for so many years.
But the truth is, we like being busy. It gives us purpose and meaning. And it's numbing.
If we don't stop we don't have to think too hard or too deeply. If we don't stop we don't have to sit with how we're really doing. If we don't stop we can just skate past life and be masterful at producing... forever.
I don't know about you, but sitting quietly with no agenda forces me to feel. Like... actually feel.
I might notice, for the first time, that I'm thirsty. That my neck is sore. That I'm holding tension in my shoulders.
And then it goes deeper.
I might realize I'm feeling a little lonely, or a little sad, or even excited about something.
And I realize that the Holy Spirit is *right there.*
RIGHT. THERE.
And I think the most intense part of sitting with Jesus... in resting in His presence... is that it's humbling.
Not humiliating... but humbling. It's the experience of being stripped bear, fully vulnerable, and fully surrendering to the gaze of the Father.
Rest is an act of faith.
To put our work down for the day when we did not finish an important task requires us to admit that we are not the ultimate provider.
To leave dishes in the sink for tomorrow because our kids need our attention requires us to admit that we aren't capable of doing everything..
It forces us to submit ourselves to God's provision.
Without rhythms of rest, rhythms of letting go, rhythms of sitting in the presence of Jesus we are simply not being formed into grace-filled and Jesus-loving people.
Point blank.
In Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, he re-tells the story of Moses coming down from the mountain, after seeing the glory of the Lord. And, Paul describes the veil that Moses put on his face so that God's glory is not too much for the people.
He then describes the "new way" that "gives us such confidence" (Chapter 3, verse 12). It's the power of the Holy Spirit in us and with us. The presence of the glory of the Lord in our midst, and with the veil removed from our faces (because we no longer have to be separated by that veil) we "can behold and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image" (verse 18).
To be transformed into the image of God is to behold Him.
To be transformed into the image of God is to be humbled by who He is.
To be transformed into the image of God is to surrender to His glory.
Lanta Davis, in her thought-provoking book Becoming by Beholding says it like this: "All spiritual formation begins with humility."
Finding our role and our identity in its proper place: that is the heart of spiritual formation.
He is King and I am not.
He is Sovereign and I am not.
He is Father and Defender and Provider and Savior and Deliverer...
And I am not.
I am just His daughter, or His son, and I am beloved. And He is glorious.
And if entrepreneurs know one thing, it's that nothing stays perfectly stagnant. Either it's getting better or worse. Growing or shrinking.
We're the ones who remember important things like "Every business has a culture, but you may not be intentionally setting it" or "Every business has a brand, but you may not be intentionally crafting it."
In Practicing the Way, by John Mark Comer, we're reminded: "If we're not being intentionally formed by Jesus himself, then it's highly likely we are being unintentionally formed by someone or something else."
If you're wanting to behold Jesus and just don't know how, these are some great places to start:
Grace Over Grind by Shae Bynes
Garden City by John Mark Comer
You Are What You Love by James K. A. Smith
Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley
The Life We're Looking For by Andy Crouch
Becoming by Beholding by Lanta Davis
Experience Jesus. Really. by John Eldredge
Hosting to Behold - a teaching from David Lomas
Good Work and Good Rest - Andy Crouch